CAN SOMEONE please tell me...

Since when it it an allowable thing to give someone a formal counseling because they used the word "freakin'" in an email to a friend???? Or maybe it's ok for a formal counseling because the phone was broken and the employee could not "complete her job" because the freakin' phone was broken? I sat there and watched my boss baldfaced lie more times than I can count - and I called her on them - she'd just shake her head and kind of grin at the big boss as if I was just crazy. Then the big boss would just pound the papers with her hand and say we had to get back to the "issue".

It's getting to be all out war at work - they either tell me to do what I'm told in the way that I"m told to or basically I'll be out of a job. The big issue is exactly how many times a day I check the phone for messages. Even if there are none and even if the messages are nothing at all important even if there is one. I can't check the phone every TWO hours which is what I've been doing and it's worked out fine... except she wants EVERY hour (in between being buried by all the other work I have). The most assinine things, but people do like their power trips when they are able to be the one to give the "orders". Never mind all the restrictions the doctor has given them.. he hasn't given them the "correct" restrictions as far as they are concerned (and they told me that more than once - when I asked them what the "correct" way of writing restrictions they'd like from him - they didn't know) and until then... they don't care what meds I'm on or what illness I have. To then, I'm dirt. Dog shit. Mud. And a big problem to them And they're trying to force me to leave. But I will not.

Yet I have no more strength - it was a surprise attack - the formal counseling with my boss AND the big boss - although technically they are supposed to let me know so I can have union representation with me. I wonder why it is THEY don't have to follow any rules whatsoever. And the big boss told me either i should get a lawyer or find another job if I can't do this one they threw me into the way they want it done (ohhh... so threatening and I will mention that to the union rep this week) - they are paying absolutely NOT ONE BIT of attention to either my medical issues or the numerous and lengthy papers that the doctor has written to them.

I just don't know where to go next... I"m already out of my mind. The furnace issue? Yeah.. I need a new one, about $4000 - they have to get back to me tomorrow with the total and delivery date, and they left fuel today, 200 gallons of propane for the approximate cost of $750. Plus $199 service fee for comin' out yesterday...

I am so over the edge, totally overwhelmed, emotionally drained beyond belief, badly anemic and really, really tired of having to prove I DIDN"T DO ANYTHING WRONG! IN thirty years, not one write up... now this crap?

This girl is just completely 100% out of energy. I've been tryin' to do my best to hang in there, but it seems no matter who, no matter what, no matter where....I just can't do anything well enough to please anyone... ever.... and tonight is just one of those nights where there's not enough xanax or alcohol to even make a dent. They're really pushin' this girl pretty hard and that's the truth.