Monday, October 12, 2009

I'm ok I guess.


Or at least better. I don't think I left the house since Thursday and haven't really talked to a soul since then. I couldn't talk.... and especially not on the phone. Do people not understand that this little dog was a big part of my family for 15 years? And I had to make the decision to let it happen. I needed a hug. Desperately. Or a little backrub, or even for someone to bring me a cookie... just anything to help me through that pain. But at least I had my much needed internet friends to encourage me and for lack of any real life handholding - i surely appreciated all of you.
Next to the day I filed for divorce, burying my little dog by myself was the second hardest day of my life... and I swear on my own heart, I will never do either of those things again.
But I had to leave the house today for work. yes, it's a holiday for most, but my boss called me at home on my vacation day Friday to ask if I'd come in. My punching numbers into the fax machine SO crucial... but hey, it's time and a half for working today... if I have to do it they might as well pay me some crazy money. So here I am. The place is deserted. Even the coffee cart is closed. ::sigh::
Just thought I'd take a minute to let you all know I'm makin' it.. and thank God for you all... the good wishes and prayers. I know it was just a little dog, less than 10 pounds.. but he took a big piece of my heart with him.. and between you and me.. there's not a whole lot left of it to share.

5 comments:

Karen said...

I hope your day goes well.

I know exactly how you feel. I have both my big dogs in my yard. Couldn't leave them with the vet. It will be 3 years this Novemeber and I still miss my big boy. Keep flowers growing every year for both of them.

I know there are people that don't understand the loss you feel. I don't understand how they can have a friend in their lives for so long and not miss them the way we do.

Hugs out to you.

Carolyn (Harbor Hon) said...

In a heart as big as yours, there's plenty to spare my friend. You will go on and carry Gizzy's memory with you. Sorry you had to work today though. xxoo

Sheepish Annie said...

Those little creatures sure do leave a bit hole when they are gone. I had my the Smaller, Less Fluffy Kitty cremated and I was stunned when I saw that tiny urn. How does such a big personality fit in that space?

I hope that working was a diversion for you today. Sometimes it can feel better to have something to do, although working doesn't really sound fun. Know that I'm thinking of you and sending comforting thoughts your way!

peggy said...

i know your hurting and i am really sorry i know what it is like to lose a dog my razor died in my arms and i had him for 12 years hes been gone for 3 years now and i still miss him every day so i know what your going thru i just wanted to tell you i am sorry for your loss when you want to talk to me call ok love ya

Jamisyn said...

I'm so sorry I wasn't around for you! I feel terrible and know the position you are in. My thoughts are with you...