Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Watchin' the clock

Ok, so my desk is all packed up. When I get back from my dad's I'll start on the new job. In the meantime.. here I sit with absolutely nothing to do and an hour to go before I can get out of here, so why not blog? This is actually all gonna work out pretty well... leave one job, have a week vacation and then when I get back everything will be all set up and ready for me at the new job... my new phone, computer, furniture, etc. If I wasn't going on vacation I would have had to do all that paperwork myself (and it's a LOT since an office move involves a bunch of different departments - separate department for the phone, separate department for the movers, separate department for the computer stuff... you get the idea), but since I'm going away... they had another secretary do it. Yay for me *grin*.

So I'm excited and scared to death at the same time. I know other people travel all the time alone and you might think I'm just bein' a big baby about the whole thing.. but I have... um.. shall we say... "issues". I hate driving and have a total phobia of being lost. I mean if I even think I might get lost my hands start sweating and shaking.. the works. I'm pretty sure it's a fear left over from an accident my family had when I was 16. After my parents divorced and my mother met someone new.. we were finally all going to go on a "family" vacation... the first one ever for us kids - and we were going to Disney World!!! We grew up very poor and this was an absolutely amazing thing that we were finally going to go on a vacation! Except that we never made it. We got T-boned on the highway in Virginia. I still remember the sound of the glass tinkling when the windows broke. I remember being dazed and looking up and seeing my stepfather (who was driving) look back at me with blood all over his face. And my mother was in the middle between us (back in the day when they didn't have bucket seats)... and she ended up with 19 broken bones in her body. I remember hearing her scream at the hospital because they were so sure she was going to die, they didn't bother to set any of the bones right away (she did survive). But it was horrible. The two adults were admitted to the hospital, but miracle of miracles, none of us kids had more than a bruise. But there we were, four scared kids, me being the oldest at 16, stuck in another state with no money, no adults to take care of us. Somehow, someone got a hotel room for us and long story short, the hospital found a minister who was willing to drive us kids back to New York where we lived by ourselves for about a month until my mother and stepfather were able to be moved to a hospital closer to home.

Ever since then I just hate being in a car if I don't have to... and maybe now you see a little bit of why I'm so nervous about this trip - especially going alone.

In my "head" I know it's gonna be fine... but I still can't help bein' a little afraid.

5 comments:

Jamisyn said...

Geez, I think I would be a bit scared too. I hope you have a safe trip and I'm sure that you won't get lost...at least I hope you won't! ;-)

Kath said...

Oooo - get a GPS! Or call your cell phone provider and see if they have that as an add on service? They are absolutely marvelous and can just talk to you with turn-by-turn directions! I used that when I drove up to northern California in February and it made a huge difference!

I do understand the post-accident fears, I was in a bad one myself in my early 20's. It's okay to be afraid - just don't let your fears rule you!

Carolyn (Harbor Hon) said...

Say a prayer before you even start the engine. I'll ask God to make sure you have an angel sitting in the seat next to you.

Good news that you don't have to make all the arrangements for your office move. They just repaired the task lights on my new desk. Found out most of them were just not connected. Figures. :)

Don't be nervous ... even though I know you will be ... but enjoy the vacation to the max. We'll be here when ya get back. xxoo

Julie said...

I think a little fear is healthy, but like Kath says, don't let it rule you.

You'll have a lot of people who care about you sending good thoughts your way for a safe trip!

Sheepish Annie said...

I was in an accident with my parents when I was young and I still cringe when I hear the sound of breaking glass or shrieking brakes. Gah!

Take it slow and easy, stop when you need to and do what you need to do to make it feel safe. I'll think good thoughts for you!